Cliché

It seems like the universe is pushing me in a particular direction.

I say this with full acknowledgement that I have admonished others for personifying this cold, lifeless universe. I appreciate the irony.

Still, though, the whole ‘one door closes and a window opens’ metaphor is rather apt right now. Another apt analogy is ‘leap and the net will appear.’ I hate both of these clichés so much that it pains me to acknowledge that they might actually have substance.

Not so long ago, yet in that period of languid summery heat that feels like a lifetime ago, an acquaintance made the distinction between ‘having a job’ and ‘generating income.’ I was dazzled by this acquaintance for reasons outside of his business philosophy, but our short-lived liaison has left little more than this residue on me.

I, too, want to generate income without the constraints of ‘having a job.’ Thus my decision to leap into the vast and uncertain world of freelance work. To that end, I gave notice in September that I would be leaving a contract-based job at the end of the contract, in early December. That seemed plenty of notice for my supervisor to find a replacement. I thought I was being a responsible and considerate person by giving such early notice. I even suggested to a few colleagues that they submit their application materials for consideration as my replacement.

Ever heard the saying, ‘no good deed goes unpunished’? Well, it seems apropos here, as well. It seems this point in my life is simply a magnet for adages.

My supervisor decided to take a surprising tack last week. He suggested—without any option to refuse—that I complete the rest of my contracted obligations from my home, rather than come into the workplace anymore. This, he posited, would eliminate the contentious atmosphere I had created with my disrespectful attitude and repeated insubordination.

Of course, I am leaving out lots of details about the months leading up to this ultimatum--or suggestion, if you will. That is on purpose, but it does not affect my summation of the outcome.

I think he was suffering from a poor vocabulary.

By ‘contentious atmosphere,’ I think he really meant congenial conversation among peers. By ‘disrespectful attitude,’ I think he meant disagreements on how some supervisory responsibilities should be handled. By ‘repeated insubordination,’ I think he meant stating the aforementioned disagreements where others could hear them.

You see, it’s a matter of semantics. And ego.

Regardless, I have found this punishment to actually be a lightly veiled gift. Not only do I get to avoid morning traffic in downtown twice a week, but I get a gentle nudge from the universe in the direction of my previous decision.

In fact, I see this as definitive proof that this cold, lifeless universe approves of my decision and has opened a path toward my goals.

The door slamming shut behind me has loosened the sash on a window, letting in the cool breeze of progress. I am leaping through it, and I can just about see the net materializing.

So thank you, supervisor who clearly needs an anger management seminar. You were merely an instrument of the universe, working to reinforce a decision already made. I now have sufficient skin in the game to play through my fear of failure and boldly make my vision a reality. I shall generate income and not miss the confines of a job.

And thank you, too, previously dazzling acquaintance. You were an instrument of the universe, as well, coming into my life for a brief but important moment. My time with you was not wasted.

Now that I am, myself, a cliché—as I make lemonade of lemons and dance like no one’s watching and take the path less traveled and create the life I want and so forth—I take this opportunity to espouse one more.

Life must be lived forward but can only be understood backward.

Certainly this moment in my life is one that I will look back on with many emotions and perspectives in the future. It is one of the dots, to reference Steve Jobs—and why not?—that will undoubtedly connect to other dots that will lead me forward to that net I am leaping toward.

Here’s to looking and moving forward with all the confidence of one who knows it will all work out in the end. Besides, I have never been persona non grata anywhere before. I wear the moniker with a defiant pride. Even if that makes me a cliché.