Thanks, Ladies!

I have such abundance in my life. One thing I am especially grateful for is the multitude of awesome women around me. This weekend, I reconnected with three excellent friends from grad school, and our non-stop conversation and laughter was like a balm.

We talked about a lot of things on our road trip and during short Uber rides in Pittsburgh and at bars and walking down sidewalks and on the sofa and at the table. My favorite part was when our conversation turned to the idea of the four of us starting a business together. This was not pie-in-the-sky daydream talk, but realistic comparisons between our ideas and other start-ups, and meaningful explorations of how we could do it. It was exhilarating. I felt the way I used to in grad school: like I was surrounded by some of the smartest people ever discussing the most important topics ever.

So much of my time and energy this past year has been focused on men. Whether it’s my soon-to-be-ex-husband, one of the guys I’m dating, or one of my bosses, I’ve dealt with men a lot in the last 12 months. It was refreshing to focus on my girlfriends this weekend, to simply not think about men for a while. Granted, we did discuss men at great length. All three of these ladies are in long-term, committed relationships—two of them recently married—so there was lots of talk about in-laws and blending finances and compromising and all the aspects of relating to men in an intimate way.

Turning the conversation to our respective jobs—our strengths and weaknesses in them, our goals and aspirations about money and accomplishment—was refreshing and exciting. We all studied in the same creative writing program, so we have a similar skill set when it comes to the craft of writing. In the three and a half years since we graduated, however, we have each developed other skills that could really complement each other. One of us has acquired deep technical knowledge about SEO and content managing. One has an innate sense for business dealings and finances. One is supremely confident no matter whom she’s dealing with and can motivate people to stay on-task and on-deadline. One of us has developed excellent editing acumen and can coach others toward strong, concise writing.

Together, I think we’d be a formidable business team. Even if we never act on these conversations, they have buoyed my confidence in my own life-work path. Seeing how these women have carved out a niche where they can earn a living while still employing the creative tools we honed in grad school is heartening.

I am always aware of how lucky I am to be working in the field I studied. Writing is one of those skills that people value in theory but never want to put much money into. From these savvy younger women, I have learned that you can make a living at it—you just have to know the value of your skills then be creative about managing them. Our conversations this weekend helped me see our skill sets as more than extensions of grad school; they are possibilities for a future filled with success, whatever that might look like.

These discussions also helped reinforce the idea that success doesn’t have to be defined in any one particular way. We all need to make money, yes—and we all are certain that we are currently underpaid for the work we do. But money isn’t our only concern. Agency, independence, respect, and the freedom to shape our own futures are all just as important to us as paying bills and accumulating wealth. Listening to these women, who are all 10 to 15 years younger than me, talk about their frustrations with their current work and their aspirations for molding their futures reinvigorated my own sense of power over my own future. Their strength of conviction has fortified my own.

I am eternally grateful for the strong women in my life: my mom, my new managing editor, my sister, sisters-in-law, nieces, old friends, new friends, my best friend Jessica. They show me myriad ways to be smart and unique and happy, no matter what life throws at us.

Thank you, ladies, for living life with passion, following your own paths, and bringing so much joy and laughter into my life. This morning I feel like we can take over the world.