The Future Tense

2017 has been a year of new: new apartment, new relationships, new attitude. It was also a year of firsts: first dates, first bus trips, first experiences alone, first attempts at independence.

2018 promises to be just as exciting and terrifying in its own way. After jumping feet first into the deep end of the unknown, I have surfaced and learned to swim. I practice honesty and self-care, I don’t deny myself pleasure, and I’m beginning to believe that I really do deserve ice cream, sex and happiness.

This year feels like another clean slate. Turning the page on the calendar brings an opportunity to start fresh and embrace change. I don’t make new year’s resolutions, but I believe in the power of accountability. The future tense always implies a promise: I will. It’s a pledge to fulfill the promise of one’s words.

This year, I will be my best self, living my best life. I will be honest with myself and others; I will be kind to myself and others; I will see the beauty and joy in myself and others.

I will work hard and leave my work behind on a regular basis to focus on the people I love. I will let myself be creative and not hide my creativity from others. I will be brave. I will fail and begin again however often I need to.

I will love freely and without expectation of reward or return. I will accept love and respect from others because I deserve them both. I will give the benefit of the doubt to those who seem to hurt me. I will forgive.

2017 saw good and bad for me, though the scales tipped toward the former in the last few months of the year. I stumbled in the spring, mostly because I clung to old ideas that kept me from embracing change. Once I got the hang of honesty, it became a beneficial habit, like flossing.

2018 holds great promise on many fronts. Work, friends, love, health: I don’t want to jinx it, but all systems are running smoothly at the moment. I’m gonna leap confidently into the great void of my future and expect the net to appear. It always has before.